Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
