Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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