Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
