i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize