Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
