That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
