Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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