Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
