life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
