Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
