she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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