i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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