ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
