ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
