I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize