she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
