Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Too much gin, very little bucket
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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