Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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