if i can run in heels then i can drive
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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