"it" just moved
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize