I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
