i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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