There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
