just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
