Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
