Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
