i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
