ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
