The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize