I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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