I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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