So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
COCAINE IS GR8
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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