if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i don't like sucking hair
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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