Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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