Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The adults are the big ones right?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
