i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
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