just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
