Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
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