i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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