Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize