There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just want to make out with him forever
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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