I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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