Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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