M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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