She's JV to your varsity
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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