U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
