if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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