i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
