Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize