His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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