She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
