Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
