Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
