dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
