I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
