can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
