somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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