Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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