That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
