there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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