Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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