And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize