I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
