I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
